


Mayhem and Madness

by Pokersteal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, This isn’t crack, a lot of description about Bokuto’s muscles overall, akaashi thinks Bokuto is beautiful, bokuto makes mistakes, teen rating for now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-04-07 19:51:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokersteal/pseuds/Pokersteal
Summary: The man’s arm raises holding a knife that shines in the low light of the garage. Akaashi’s last breath leaves him and his lungs refuse to take in another. Frozen, terrified, he stares up at his end. Time freezes alongside him. A heavy footfall rings out. A platform boot and a muscular leg covered in bell bottoms with silver adornments fill Akaashi’s field of vision as he rolls over onto his stomach. Easily a smooth beat fills his mind as his gaze rises up to an unbuttoned burnt orange shirt that exposes a broad chest and gold chain.- - - - - - - -Alternately, Akaashi’s life gets weird





	1. An Introduction to Strange

**Author's Note:**

> This work could easily be titled synonyms for enchanting+man. That doesn’t make sense rn but it will after you read the chapter. Inspired by this https://www.google.com/amp/s/mariahspaige.tumblr.com/post/169641837413/kingkhufu94-mxxn-kitten-who-is-this-man/amp

When the sun has yet to grace the sky and people are just beginning to roam the city, Akaashi sits before his TV watching the news. It’s an early Friday morning, and per his weekday routine, he’s eating his breakfast before work. On the screen a news anchor is talking about a spike in murders in the city. The cops have yet to find any strong leads. The hum of the anchor’s words are merely background music to Akaashi as he hurriedly eats to make sure he misses the morning traffic on his commute to work.  
After finishing his meal and quickly rinsing the dishes, he dons a coat, grabs his keys, and leaves his apartment. The drive to work is familiar and dull. Despite his boring and repetitive morning, Akaashi feels like today has a refreshing air to it. He productively works away all morning at his desk in his fancy office. When lunch comes around he makes his way to the break room. 

“Akaashi!” the intern Hinata excitedly yells to him.

“Hinata, how are you?” Akaashi greets him back while making his way to sit at the table beside him.

“Good! Kageyama bought me lunch!” the bright boy replies.  
Beside him Kageyama looks at something in the distance trying to hide a faint blush.

“How nice of him,” Akaashi says teasingly (but monotone to anyone who doesn’t know him well) with an eyebrow raised. Kageyama pointedly does not look his way and grunts an affirmative. Akaashi internally laughs to himself at how obvious the two of them are.

“Bwah I’m so excited for this weekend, Kageyama and I are going to see that new action movie!” Hinata shouts.

“It’s supposed to be really good,” Kageyama adds monotonously.

“Ah, be careful if you guys are going out this weekend,” the head of HR Sugawara calls from where he has just walked in.

“What for?” Hinata asks immediately.

“There’s been a string of killings in the city,” Sugawara tells him seriously.

“We’ll make sure to be safe,” Kageyama insists.

“Ah, thank you for watching out for us,” Hinata says. Somehow the turn in conversation manages not to put a damper on Akaashi’s mood. The rest of his day continues to be as refreshing as the beginning and he finishes a project due for the following week. At 5 he leaves the office with a spring in his step. In the elevator to the parking garage he engages in a light conversation with an acquaintance from IT.

“Well, have a good weekend,” Akaashi calls behind him walking to his car. No words answer him. The only reply is the sound of a body hitting the concrete floor. Akaashi turns quickly to watch a man hover over the still body. The man raises his mask covered face to look at Akaashi. Terror fills Akaashi’s body head to toe and he stumbles to run in the opposite direction. He makes seven, eight, nine steps and then falls backward to the ground. His legs too weak from fear to support himself and get up. As the masked figure stands above him his blood runs cold as ice. The man’s arm raises holding a knife that shines in the low light of the garage. Akaashi’s last breath leaves him and his lungs refuse to take in another. Frozen, terrified, he stares up at his end. Time freezes alongside him.

A heavy footfall rings out. 

A platform boot and a muscular leg covered in bell bottoms with silver adornments fill Akaashi’s field of vision as he rolls over onto his stomach. Easily a smooth beat fills his mind as his gaze rises up to an unbuttoned burnt orange shirt that exposes a broad chest and gold chain. Sturdy arms raise to brush the sides of an extravagant hair style. A toned forearm lifts a thick cigar to full lips. The enchanting man in platform boots leans his head back with his chest forward and effortlessly moves his head to the tune. Behind Akaashi the masked man sways, mimicking the other.  
Mind blank, Akaashi gets up from the floor and rolls his body in time with the music. Never in his life has Akaashi ever felt so compelled to move by music than he does now. Perhaps, he thinks distantly, it is the mysterious man and not the beat that makes him dance. A hand decorated with rings beckons Akaashi forward and he doesn’t notice his attacker moving forward with him. Quickly the man in front of him raises his hand and Akaashi mirrors his movement to hold the masked man’s wrist firmly. The captivating man brings two fingers to his temple and, still gently rocking his hips to the music, moves a shaking hand upwards. Akaashi’s unoccupied hand follows the same path and fluidly he turns and strikes the masked man down to the ground when the seductive figure brings his shaking hand down firmly.  
Bent over, the bewitching man moves his shoulders to the song before snapping his fingers. Rolling his hips back, Akaashi glides towards his savior. He’s stopped by a large palm on his head and spun around to face the beautiful man. The alluring stranger steps forward and removes the cigar from his mouth. He bends down slightly to smell Akaashi’s hair. Once he leans back he licks a finger and bops the tip of Akaashi’s nose with it.  
Seemingly in an instant, the enamoring man is piggyback on Akaashi. As a farewell to the masked man, the person being carried by throws up a peace sign. Akaashi walks away from the killer and toward the body on the floor where the man on his back dismounts only for a moment to press a kiss to their forehead. In the next minute Akaashi is standing outside the parking garage and coming to his sense. He’s being talked to but he can’t make sense of the words. Shaking his head Akaashi’s view focuses to see the breathtaking stranger talking to him.

“Call 911 won’t you? Ahhh I just left him there, that was fun though, right? Hello? Can you hear me?” The man rambles. Gently he takes Akaashi’s face in his hands. “Maybe I should call 911 instead?”

“Who are you?” The man looks bewildered to be asked this question, but then smiles a huge pearly smile.

“Bokuto Koutarou! Nice to meet you!” he introduces himself.

“Akaashi Keiji. What the fuck just happened?” Bokuto raises his hand to him in the universal sign of “one second” and answers his phone.

“Who is this?” he asks. Akaashi is left standing there in awe. He just saw someone get killed, almost got killed himself, and the someone saved him by dancing. “Oh! 911, thanks for calling! Yeah I’m at, um,” Bokuto pauses to look around,”the parking garage on Sixth Street.” After a few more moments he lowers his phone and faces Akaashi expectantly.

“Did 911 just call you?”

“Oh, yeah, well? That’s not a thing?” Bokuto replies confused.

“No, that’s definitely not a thing. People call 911, 911 does not call people,” Akaashi clarifies. Despite everything, Akaashi feels good, refreshed still. Maybe he’s losing his mind.

“Ah, well I guess that’s how things are for me,” Bokuto tells him. Sirens interrupt their conversation and Bokuto turns to watch the commotion. With his back turned to Keiji he can confirm that Bokuto was not only attractive because of the strange trance. His thick thighs fill out his strange pants well, Akaashi notes. “I’m so sorry but I have to go! It was nice meeting you!” Bokuto yells as he runs away. Akaashi watches him go, wondering if anything from the encounter will ever make sense.


	2. Things have gotten weirder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi returns home from his run-in with Bokuto. The next day he tries to rest and continue his normal life, but that’s not going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... sorry I rewrote this chapter because I hated the other one. And now that I’ve planned out the rest of the story that won’t happen again. And the shitty chapter I wrote previously made me not want to write this anymore but now I’m reinvigorated! Hopefully everyone enjoys this chapter more than the last and it’s not terrible.

It’s a Friday night and Akaashi Keiji is being questioned by the police. He’s trying his best to answer all their questions honestly, but is afraid of the consequences of telling anyone anything along the lines of “oh yeah I was saved by a beautiful man dancing.” According to what he can make out from the conversations around him, the killer was found patiently waiting, sitting crossed legged. Perhaps most bewilderingly, the person who Akaashi witnessed fall to the ground was alive, being carted off on a gurney. Despite being obviously alive, his neck was still in a similar state to when Akaashi last saw it. When Akaashi finally gets home after being let go by the police, he sits down heavily on his couch. He spends a moment to contemplate the ceiling before easily falling asleep.  
The next morning Akaashi wakes to the sound of his phone ringing. 

“Hello?”

“You wouldn’t believe what kind of night I had,” Akaashi’s dear friend Oikawa says.

“What happened?” Akaashi yawns.

“Some guy was brought in practically dead! Like his neck was really fucked up. He shouldn’t have been alive. All the tests we did gave us the strangest results. Something was way off with his body,” Oikawa remarks without pausing. “Well? How weird is that? So I was thinking maybe he’s an alien!” Oikawa continues when he gets no response from Keiji.

“I’m sure he’s not an alien Oikawa,” Akaashi tells him.

“Akaashi! Just listen before you say anything, ok? Look, I thought this all out,” Oikawa starts ranting.

“Oikawa, was his name Tanaka Ryuunosuke?” Akaashi asks cutting off a no doubt long winded conspiracy.

“Hmm? Yeah? How did you know that?”

“He’s an acquaintance from IT. I believe I might have had a more interesting night than you.” As Akaashi tells Oikawa what happened the previous night, it becomes apparent to him that he should be more freaked out.

“And you fought the killer? By dancing?”

“Yes, I fought the killer... by dancing,” Akaashi states.

“Akaashi! Why didn’t you call me last night! This is terrible, are you okay?” Oikawa worries.

“Like I said, I wasn’t hurt. I do feel strange though, I must admit.”

“Please stay inside today and rest. I’ll call tomorrow to check up on you,” Oikawa pleads.

“Yes, I’ll rest. Talk to you tomorrow.” Despite promising to rest, Akaashi starts his morning routine with the intention of leaving the house to complete some errands. Once he has freshened up and eaten breakfast he leaves the house to go to the grocery store. Once he arrives, Akaashi goes through his list of items efficiently. At approximately one-fourth of the list remaining, Akaashi enters an aisle and is greeted with a familiar back. He unknowingly stares at the backside further down the aisle to try to jog his memory. Abruptly, an ass becomes crotch as the person turns around. Akaashi quickly raises his eyes to look at the face of his dancing savior.

“Akaashi!” the man yells in greeting.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi replies feeling a faint heat in his face at the possibility of being caught ogling. As Bokuto bounces towards him, Akaashi takes note of the strangeness that surrounds him. For one, in a barely noticeable way, the leafy produce on display reach out softly towards Bokuto as he passes by as if gently calling for his attention. Secondly, several canned goods roll down the aisle behind the bubbly man, reminiscent of a Chef Boyardee advertisement. Lastly, Akaashi himself feels incredibly drawn to him.

“It’s fantastic seeing you here!” Bokuto chimes eagerly.

In a steady voice Akaashi tells him,”Personally I’m not sure how I’m feeling about meeting again.” This response visibly affects Bokuto. His shine is dulled a bit by how his back slouches and his grin becomes a tad unsure. Seeing that his words were taken harshly Akaashi rushed to clarify. “I was quite confused last time and I’m not hoping for another meeting with a murderer. Your... presence isn’t... terrible by any means,” he amends, feeling embarrassed by his small admission at the end. Rather quickly Bokuto straightens up and his smile is back at blinding force.

“Of course! I don’t like murderers either! Good thing I only see them like, once a month!” Bokuto says with a booming voice. Akaashi finds himself surreptitiously scanning the area for any eavesdroppers given Bokuto’s strange disclosure. 

“Bokuto, perhaps we shouldn’t discuss murderers at such a high volume in public,” Akaashi reasoned. 

With a soft hue of pink across his cheeks and nose Bokuto began to whisper,”You’re so smart Akaashi, someone would’ve thought I’m cra-“ when he was interrupted by what appeared to be a hairless cat. The small pink animal was aimlessly waddling between Bokuto’s legs with its nose to the ground. The odd little thing had numerous wrinkles, as one would expect on a hairless cat. Curiously, it also had significant creases on its sides that didn’t match the taught skin surrounding it on the midsection. As soon as Bokuto’s attention had been caught by the cat, his eyes widened considerably. Bokuto’s body became poised and he held his breath. His muscles were tense and ready to take action. As Akaashi closely inspected the strange folds of skin on the cats sides, Bokuto dropped to the floor at an impressive speed. His arms were outstretched with the clear intent to take hold of the funny beast. 

Akaashi blinked and then the cat flew. It flew, not with the grace that flying beings typically have, but with a lopsidedness. The odd bunched skin Akaashi noticed earlier had become dainty wings. Quickly, Bokuto reacted and ran after it. Just as soon, the cat seemed to decide flying was not its fastest mode of movement and took to running. Bokuto sprinted after it and out of the store. Slowly, Akaashi scanned the people of the store to find that no one had taken notice of the peculiar scene. Concerned by the possibility that he had been the only one to witness what had happened and the implications of that, Akaashi rapidly finished his shopping with a great intent to nap away his troubles once he arrived home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don’t mind hairless cats because he’s here to stay:) please leave a comment about preferably the story, but anything else is ok too


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